model of a modern major general

The news needs to find a new word for pirate if my children are going to ever be willing to go to the beach again. Pirates? Pirates are funny talking swashbucklers with feather swords and parrots and eye patches. Pirates exist only on the video of Pirates of Penzance. I knew giving in to the pirate world would be nothing but trouble. I told Ella that pirates did not exist. And now they are back and not being very nice.